What? Weight. Wait.......WHAT?!

Beauty is subjective. Everyone have their own ideas about what’s beautiful and what looks good. No problem. What does bother me though is that it doesn’t seem that subjective. It seems like everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, is running after a particular image of beauty that is defined by certain parameters which are not only affecting our day to day lives, but also wrecking the things and people that are most important to us. I am willing to bet on everything that is dear and near to my heart, that every single one of you have always had this particular ‘image’ of beauty befuddle you and push you or someone you know and/or love into an abyss of self doubt and depression. We all feel inadequate. We all feel unhappy at some point about the way we look. It doesn’t matter if we are thin, wispy, athletic or curvy. We all have always had that evil little voice that has been viciously programmed into our brain whispering that you’re either just not good enough or you’re too thin or too fat or too much or too little or whatever. I must point out at this moment however, that when I say ‘we’ I mostly mean women. Not that I believe that men don’t go through any of this. Of course they do. We live in a very unconditionally judgmental, rigid and egocentric society and I’m sure that several men go through it too. Believe me, I know. However, the reason I say that women are the focus of this particularly unpleasant and sticky problem is that they are much more influenced and affected by it. Their entire lives practically get defined by it: Whether they want it to or not.

Nothing is ever good enough for anyone and I think it’s time to admit it. The thin ones complain that they’re too skinny, the supposedly ‘fat’ (I hate that word) ones complain for supposedly apparent reasons and even the ones who don’t seem to have any problems and allegedly seem to have more than their fair share of that particular image of beauty that we were talking about earlier (C’mon, we all know what that is – your super ‘perfect’ hourglass figure ranging within the 6 to 0 size range or any other similar kind of absurdity we all come across incessantly) are unhappy about some blasted feature of themselves. We all care a little too much. We all obsess and mope about something that we shouldn’t be so unhappy about no matter what. I’ll tell you why: Because it bloody doesn’t matter!

It doesn’t matter what your attitude towards life is; it doesn’t matter if you are a cynic, an optimist, a realist, a mystic, religious, atheist or an agnostic: at some point in our life, we all criticize ourselves, we all define ourselves by what everyone else thinks and sometimes we go to the point of hurting and torturing ourselves. It does not change the fact that our closeness to the so called ‘just what the doctor ordered’ image of beauty that has been bombarded onto our psyche from different mediums since before we could even speak, just doesn’t matter. Different religions, cultures and communities have always believed in different versions of beauty. However, we forget that beauty is the most vague and elusive of all the abstractions. The sole problem with beauty is that we humans have tried to classify it, in our obsessive need to classify and stereotype every single thing that has ever lived, moved, subsisted or not existed.

I will bury myself and never surface if I ever again hear someone who is perfectly fine, complain that their hairline is abysmal or their ‘love handles’ (seriously) are ugly (hate that word too). Why can’t we just look for beauty everywhere? Why try to fit it into some narrow pigeonhole? I see beauty in the glint of sunlight shining through someone’s hair. I see beauty when someone spontaneously bursts into uncontrollable laughter. I see beauty when someone stumbles, then steps back and in an incredibly unassuming and good natured impulse, has the ability to laugh at themselves. I also see beauty in an impeccably designed pair of shoes, in a gorgeous colour or in an extraordinarily amazing texture. Why should I define beauty within the boundaries that are set by the world? I have never believed that I was born to live my life on anyone else’s terms but my own and why should anyone else believe otherwise for themselves? How are we ever going to be able to love, respect and accept anyone else if we can’t give ourselves the same consideration first?

So for all those who think the glass is half full, here it is: You are beautiful, no matter what your size, shape or whatever it is that you consider so purportedly horrible or contemptible about yourself. And don’t you dare let anyone else ever let you think or even tell you otherwise. We all have those qualities unique to ourselves that make us interesting, beautiful and absolutely delightful.  Our world is much more vibrant, beautiful, varied and exciting than any particular classification.  It’s great and very important to be healthy, but I doubt if today’s obsession with the way we look and the over-hyped and exceedingly stressed ‘weight’ issue can be classified as even close to healthy. I am absolutely sure that there are better and happier ways of getting and staying healthy.
Also, for all those who think the glass is half empty (C’mon, its important as we are all utter cynics at least twice a day): Look at it this way: **** it. We are all going to die someday. Yep, I said it. Meanwhile, let’s just enjoy life. If we simply HAVE to schlep our way through it anyway, why not take pleasure in it? It’s like Joey said during a hilariously droll moment on Friends: “If you’re gonna do something wrong: Do it right. “